Alexcia Perales

The Obitchuary of Lexi Perales

Alexcia “whose name was so pretty she didn’t need a middle name” Perales was born in Bakersfield Ca on August 17, 1991, at Memorial Hospital.   Sadly, just 34 short years later she would pass peacefully at the same medical center.   Up until that point, full of piss and vinegar, she had survived mostly out of spite.  She will be welcomed home by her sweet-sweet papa, Ramon Perales.   She was hugged goodbye by her Mummy, Mary Perales.  Her better half Joshua Guidotti. Her sister and brother-in-law, Cherrae and David Mendoza.  Brother Ramon Perales II, Niece Rylee Murrieta, husband Andrew and great niece Copelynn.   Niece Reigen Mendoza and Kerriona Evans, Nephew Davis Mendoza, and the true loves of her life, her fur babies, Minnie Vannini, Moozilla, Whiskey and Butters.  She insisted that they attend the funeral. Moose respectfully declined the invitation but demanded we bring her some snacks home. She had more friends than there is space to name them all, so we simply say thank you for loving our girl.  She will be moderately missed by some.  

A jack of all trades, she dabbled in culinary arts, mixology, horror movie trivia, tardiness and sarcasm.  She was currently writing a diary of lies which we plan on publishing at an undisclosed date.  She was a girl who always looked her prettiest under the glow of a neon light and who always sang a little off key to the juke box.  Her favorite colors were black, neon black, light black, dark black and especially pitch black. She said she liked how it matched her eyeliner and her sense of humor.  One of her favorite movies was Practical Magic from which she adopted the motto, “Always throw salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can”.  In true fashion, she made sure to talk shit to the bitter end.  The way she always said she would. 

A celebration of life of her zany yet exuberant life will be held on Saturday June 7th at OT Cookhouse banquet hall at 10am.  In lieu of flowers we ask that you hug your loved ones and tell them you love them.  Or cash.  She would have really liked cash.  BlessED be.  

To send flowers to the family, please visit our floral store.